Hello there,
I hope you’ve had a relaxing day. I recently found out that all of your children have had to be taken from you in order to ensure their safety so I’m sure your day can’t have been very rewarding. What is mother’s day without your children? Well let me tell you how it goes with the two that call me Mommy.
We didn’t tell them today was Mother’s Day. Sounds odd right? All I’ve ever wanted was to be a mother so why on earth wouldn’t I want to celebrate it? Funny you should ask. The title of Mother was originally yours, on and off for several years and due to that my title of Mommy is tainted with trauma and pain. Last year we actually had an ok day for Mother’s Day, honestly the best one yet and this year we are trying our best to just let it slide past to avoid more pain on your children, my children, our children.
You see, all that these kids went through from birth until the day they came to me has done damage to their brains. They don’t know how to love or be loved in return. Love literally hurts them, scares them and makes them lash out. I have the scars; physically, mentally and emotionally to prove it.
These little boys hurt so deeply because of their early lives. And they aim to hurt others as well to avoid further pain. I am their main target mainly because of how they associate the title of Mommy to you.
Please understand in their little brains “Mommy” is a person who hurts, neglects, abuses, and ignores them. Even though I have bent over backward these last 4 years to prove this wrong the epigenetics inside them are programmed from birth. Even though none of this holds true anymore they still push and force their will to try to make it true. In essence they want me to be you. They want me to treat them as you did and they don’t understand why I won’t.
Rest assured Birth mother I know that you wanted to do your best. I know you didn’t aim to damage their brains and hearts. Please know we are thankful beyond words that you let them go so we could give them a chance to understand love and family.
I hope one day they can embrace the idea that love and family does not mean pain and fear. That Mommies don’t hurt their babies and families take care of one another.
It is my sincerest hope that one day you will find peace in yourself and that each of these children can find forgiveness for what they experienced.
Happy Mother’s Day and thank you. Thank you for these little boys.
